My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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