what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
