He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
