4 words: hood of his car
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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