Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
