i permit you to call me
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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