Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
