Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
