I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
