She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
