you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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