Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
