All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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