She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
