she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
