I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
