A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
