Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
