u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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