god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
