i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize