i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
