I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
