just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
operation harelip BJ is a go
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.