so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
