Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
