New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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