watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
