I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
