yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
only if we run a train.
done.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
