8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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