; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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