I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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