So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It's shark week go big or go home
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
