He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
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You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
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I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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