your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you didnt know i had herpes?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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