I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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