Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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