Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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