does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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