It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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