Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
