you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
