not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
