i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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