Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
