I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize