I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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