We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
