i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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