Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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