The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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