Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize