sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
