And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
