3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
