ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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