i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
